i watch a lot of tv

hi old friend, old bloggeroo, have I ever been away for so long since you were first born? I dunno, there is no way to find out, because science has been defunded entirely, so it will remain one of life’s mysterious mysteries forever.

me in my totally normal bedroom.
me in my totally normal bedroom.

first let me tell you that Buzzfeed’s which Riverdale character are you quiz has declared me CHERYL BLOSSOM and to say that is my greatest accomplishment of the decade would overstate my other achievements in the past decade. I have just watched the latest episode — Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (how much do we love the episode titles? lots? yes. correct.) — and even though I, Cheryl Blossom, was not in it (for shame), it was a delight. Because Jughead and Betty went on a multi-pronged investigation and also HAD A MOMENT and it was all I need in my life. Just that. Emotional highs and lows and a murder mystery and references to “The Yellow Wallpaper.” Is Riverdale my new favourite show?

My old favourite show, the one I wrote about 200,000 words on, is about to end. Like T minus one episode until The Vampire Diaries is over forever. I’ve been very behind this season, but I feel like I have to watch the finale live, but I ain’t got cable. Who wants to invite me over? (No one, because no one reads this blog. I am literally typing to myself — hey calhoun what is up that fizzy water with lime you’re drinking is pretty tasty but could use an ice cube, i know you know.) I love all the callbacks to the beginning that TVD is dishing out, and the promise of the one and only Katherine Pierce, and the twists in the June wedding episode, and that they had a June wedding! I mean, cmon. It’s too perfect in that inevitable fated well-plotted way. All hail the masterminds of TVD.
SL382606.JPGMaybe it’s weird to mark one’s real, actual life with the cycle of a tv series, but shit it started when I was just publishing my first book, and it was two apartments ago, and so many romances ago hahahha JK JK JK I never date what is my problem. All to say, feels like an end of an era for me, even though I haven’t been writing about the show in a couple of seasons. Met some good eggs through the TVD fandom, and learned so much from all the clever badasses we interviewed for the LYTD books — top of the list there, Ms. Julie Plec. So generous with her time, when she is the busiest human that ever lived.

Aw, Little Me back in Mystic Falls, all dark and with bangs. Have a few weeks before getting my hair gussied up again, but I’m feeling like making a SYMBOLIC CHANGE. Should I go back that dark and bangy way? Hmmm.

I should be working this afternoon, because I am behind on a deadline, but guess what I don’t think I’m gonna. I think I’m gonna read my Murder She Wrote novelization which is incredibly boring but somehow very very calming (will Jessica Fletcher host the perfect Thanksgiving and solve the mystery of the strange notes she’s been receiving in the post? Yes, yes she will, because goddamn it she is Jessica Fletcher and the only thing she can’t do is drive a car).

And maybe eat some pizza for dinner because that is how I live my life.

For my luncheon, I made Chrissy Teigen (who is my new celebrity crush) (I know I am late on Chrissy Teigen but at least I have her in my life now) ‘s fish tacos from her excellent cookbook Cravings, and they were delicious and spicy — the H in Chrissy is for HOT, and I am talking about chilli peppers not supermodel sexiness but also that; in all ways, she takes the H, and this Crissy does not require the H. At any rate, since I was so industrious for one meal, it’s important to cancel that out with cheesy overpriced pizza. Balance of the universe, et cetera.

type type type. ending this ramble now, but I feel like I may be back soon.

hold on to your hats.


red lips and rosy cheeks

This blog, never well attended to, is now mostly just German men talking about how much they love Chace Crawford in my comment section. It’s been so long since I’ve been on here that I plum forgot how to log on. Geez, Calhoun. Get your shit together.

Since last we met: I moved from the far east end of Toronto to the west end, right around where I went to high school and I keep having flashbacks (and echoes…) to this or that teen life experience. Which I do not mind at all. Plus: good Polish/Ukrainian restaurants where pierogies can be acquired and eaten. Now I have a roommate and a cat roommate and laundry right in the apartment and a yard and it’s basically paradise.

Since last we met: Love You to Death 5 came out, and it’s my favorite cover since maybe my season 1 book, and it’s chockfull of interviews — like, brimming with ’em — and I’m very proud of it. Would make an excellent holiday present for the TVD person in your life, no? Yes yes yes. Buy them allllllll.

It’s been strange times to not be writing about The Vampire Diaries this season — I just watch the episodes. I am not even watching TVD live, due to cable budget cutbacks. (New apartment costs a wee bit more than former apartment, ergo…) So, like, I do not even know what is going on in TVD fandom. It is a very strange feeling, friends. But I gotta say that having those eight or so hours back in my weekend — it took a while to rewatch the episode making copious notes and then writing 2,000 words about it for Vampire-Diaries.net — is a very strange feeling in a good way. Yesterday, I just popped by my sister’s and played Go Fish for hours. A surprisingly dynamic game, Go Fish.

Now is the time of year when I race to finish my Goodreads challenge, and I have been blazing through some great books by clever women (Roxanne Gay, Amy Poehler, Lena Dunham, Caitlin Moran), but have now turned to my TBR pile of mysteries. Flavia DeLuce awaits…

Oh and to answer the search term I saw whilst approving Chace Crawford German Love comments, “what college did crissy calhoun go to?” well, I went to the University of Toronto, Victoria College, for my undergrad and got an honors BA specialist in English (after futzing around studying film and art history too), and then a few years later, went to Centennial College for the publishing program (which is how I winded up with my gig at ecw, where shockingly I have been working for just shy of ten years. Ten years!).


LYTD5: more, more, more

Our friends over at TV Fanatic very kindly announced the list of TVDers that Heather and I interviewed for Love You to Death 5, and holy smokes you guys. So many people! (Way more than last year, and that was an insane group for us.) It was pretty cool to receive that barrage of Yes-yes-yes! Personally I find the making-of insights fascinating — it’s just glimpse after glimpse into How It’s Made (where “it” is a highly well-made excellent and enduring tv series), and you get a great sense of the personalities behind TVD — so it was a delight to dream up questions and get so many great answers. In parts, the book functions like an oral history of this season, which gives me great joy … and hopefully will do the same for readers.

LoveYouToDeath_hiResCheck the list here.

We’re now in page proofs — meaning the book is written and edited, and now we’re proofreading what the actual book pages look like, finding lingering typos, fixing formatting issues — and off it goes to print at the end of the month. Exciting times!p.s. If you wanted to add the book to your to-read shelf on Goodreads, or preorder it or tell your TVD-loving friends about it? Heck, we would be most obliged. Book’s out in October in print & e-formats. And our publisher, ECW, has a great program where if you buy the print book, you can get the ebook for freeeee! (Details are inside the book, and it’s super easy to get yo file.)

Love You to Death Season 4 is out!

It’s the official pub date! Exciting times to see the book out in the world, and people have been awesomely tweeting/instagrammin’ pics of Love You to Death Season 4.

Vee and I have been posting all our bookish news over at the new sites for the series LoveYoutoDeathTVD.com


Some highlights!

  • HeroineTV‘s Lucia had Vee and me on her podcast to talk all about the book, our writing process, and our thoughts on the upcoming seasons of TVD and The Originals. Listen here!
  • Reviews are up at ScreenFad.com and AngelizedFirst.com
  • And over at the Televixen, Melissa did a Q&A with us, and is offering a copy up for giveaway!

Wanna know where you can buy it? Places like Amazon.com, PowellsAmazon.caChaptersIndigo.caBarnes & Noble and it’s available in both print & e-editions!

Already have a copy? Well, if you felt like reviewing it or rating it or blogging about it or anything-ing it, that would be so very awesome of you. Every little bit helps us get the word out about the book, and help us when we’re pitching a LYTD season 5…

Thank you thank you for all the kind words and congratulatory tweets today and in the past few weeks! So excited about the book, for everyone to read it, and — most of all — to get not one but two TVD-verse shows back on air this Thursday.

Get that capslock button ready for twitter insanity.



#TVDChristmas Contest Winners!

Thanks to everyone who played along with the impromptu Love You to Death book giveaway on Twitter before last night’s episode of The Vampire Diaries. Without further ado, the three winners are…

@meftiheSo. Sad. So true.

@miireyaaThis made me literally LOL.

@tvdniThis was a popular gift idea for poor Damon, so the first one to tweet it gets the prize — @TVDNI!

To read more gift ideas for our dear Mystic Falls friends: #TVDChristmas. And winners, please email me your mailing address and your choice of Love You to Death: season 1, 2, or 3? crissycalhoun [at] gmail [dot] com.

[And if you’re stuck on gift ideas for that TVD-loving person in your life, might I humbly suggest that the Love You to Death companions make excellent presents? (Also good for indoctrinating those new-to-the-series! First companion guide + season 1 DVDs?)]


TVD: Unpleasantville

So here I am at knitting club. Not knitting, drinking wine. Kind of a lot of it? (Little bit tipsy.) And watching The Vampire Diaries. An awesome episode. here’s a pseudo live-blog.

The cast of Knitting Club characters: Sarah (Team Stefan), Amie (Team Damon), Erin (Team I’m Not Really Watching), and Charlie (Team I Am in Another Room). Plus me.

Sarah: Are you writing a blog? I better think of some witty things to say.
Crissy: Evil pizza guy??

[During the super cute Caroline & Elena scene, where E gives C the “lesbian” necklace, there was a debate over whether or not that was still Candice playing Caroline.]
Sarah: She looks a little different.
Charlie: I think it’s a different actress.
Sarah: Her eyebrows, her forehead?
Charlie: It’s a different actress. Isn’t she?
Amie: You don’t even watch this show.

Another new character! Hot bartender guy. Good or evil?? Uh oh. Elena’s mysterious caller… Totally like Scream. A creeper in the hoodie.

Stefan and Elena kiss!
Sarah: “Yay!!”

Back to Caroline:
Sarah: Maybe her bangs have changed. Bad eyebrows?
Crissy: I think i might be in love with Matt.

Erin: I like Elena’s Harry Potter scar.

So Elena’s mother’s name is Isabelle. Hope her last name isn’t SWAN.
Love the Stefan line to Damon: “…your diabolical plan. the sequel.” He does funny so well, but so rarely.
Uh-oh. uh-oh: mysterio vamp lurking at Elena’s.

The knitting club transcript:
Sarah: oh no oh no. Can she hear it? (the compass)
Sarah: Son of a bitch!
Amie: what does this fucker want?
[during commercial break]
Amie: I’m so glad Stefan arrived in time.
Sarah: Me too.

I like Caroline’s dance outfit the most. That sweater is genius. So who is the mystery vamp? Not a loose one from the tomb. Not someone who thinks she’s Katherine. (Because why would he try to drink the blood of a vampire?)

On the charms of Damon:
Sarah: He does the eye thing, you know.
Amie: He’s got that smirk.

Loved this line: “Tonight was so much better on paper.” — Caroline. Did not love the Awkward Island moment following her “washed-up jock” moment.
Amie: See. Words hurt.

Sarah: I want to see Stefan dance. [Elena asks Stefan to show her some moves.] Come on, let’s go. [they start dancing] Ooooooooh wooo!! [dance over] Genuinely, that made me happy.

What! Double vamps! Evil stalker-hoodie-vampire-dude Noah and evil Anna!

Oh no, a decoy! Regular teenage boy in a hoodie! Elena does her best slayer imitation, pretty good for a human! Total Buffy flashbacks being in a high school and using found wood objects for stakes. Love it.

Is Alaric’s wife Elena’s mother?? A little Life Unexpected teen mom moment here? I love the Anna character a lot more now that she’s an evil vamp.

OK! Knitting Club wrapping up. We cannot wait for next week. Want more TVD.


Vampire Diaries Marathon: “Friday Night Bites” & “Family Ties”

So this whole marathon, two episodes a night plus blog posts thing has turned out to be a little much for the holiday season! Last night I was out at a choral concert of Bach’s Christmas Oratorio (which included this cool solo thing where the soprano sang something or other about Christmas, in German, and then one chorister was on the balcony echoing back words to her. Very cool.

Anyway! On to The Vampire Diaries!

“Friday Night Bites”: Good lord, Damon Salvatore. Watching him manipulate Caroline and try to subtly (well, sorta subtly) chip away at Elena’s relationship with Stefan, watching him go from kinda sweet to murderous to kinda sweet again — Damon Salvatore makes for good TV. The moment at the end worked so well for me — sometimes the writing-in-my-diary narration cheeses me out a little, but hearing Stefan write about how his brother has become the monster Damon had only pretended to be, how he has entirely lost his humanity while Damon stands watching Elena sleeping, tenderly brushing her hair off her face… So creepy, so sweet. Stefan was right the first time: Damon still mourns Katherine, and that keeps him on this side of a terrible monster with no chance at redemption. Either that or he was just planning how he’d kill her. Errr, I vote for option 1.

Rewatching these episodes it’s also cool to see how they dole out the information on how vampires work in this universe. Healing powers? Check. Disabled by vervain? Check. And as we find out about the vamps, Bonnie finds out about her witchy-witchy ways. I wish I had the power to just *know* where all the things are hiding in my kitchen.

Even though I knew it was coming, I still felt a little ripped-off that the hot & heavy make-out session between Elena and Stefan was just a dream . . . but I love the twist of Stefan turning into Damon, so we’ll call it even. The other moment that gets me: when Elena and Damon are talking in her kitchen, and she says to him, I’m sorry about Katherine. You lost her too. ::heart breaks::
Shirtless vampire? Double check.

“Family Ties”: A Taylor Swift AND a Twilight reference in the same episode?? The whole mind-frak Elena has to navigate, with both Salvatores acting alternately charming and baffling, in this episode is perfect. I liked seeing Stefan outsmart his brother, finally getting a chance to one-up him and lock him in that vervain grow-op.

Other fave moments: Bonnie lighting all the candles in the dining room; the reveal of the Founders Council at the end; and the backstory (well, some of it) of what happened to Katherine back in 1865. Fittingly for the “family ties” episode, we got to see more of “Uncle” Zack and meet some parents: Sheriff Forbes and the Mayor and Mrs. Lockwood. Boo on all three of them. Well, half a boo on Sheriff Forbes, and two and a half boos for the Lockwoods. That mom is an evil, evil person. And I love that Vicky made one more “bad decision” and went back to Jeremy. He got the girl and the pocketwatch.
Shirtless vampire? mais oui! both S. and D.

next up on the Slow-Poke’s Marathon: 3.05 “You’re Undead to Me” and 3.06 “Lost Girls”