the itch is back? worst tagline ever

OH! the bitch is back. i get it. that’s a much better tagline than “the itch is back.” (though considering she dated Chuck Bass, the itch line may not be entirely inaccurate…)

there’s something wonderfully season 1 about this promo poster and I only hope that we ACTUALLY get to see Blair at her most devilish and devious for more than half an episode.

we’ll find out on Monday night when Gossip Girl returns with “Dr. Estrangeloved”!

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Season 3 Refresher: Blair Waldorf

We’ve revisited Dan, Vanessa, Nate, Serena, Rufus and Lily, Jenny, and Chuck. Saved the best for last: Ms. Blair Cornelia Waldorf.

“Reversals of Fortune”: Unwilling to settle down and get boring, she and Chuck have spent their summer playing games (C faux seducing a lady; B playing scorned woman). But, asks Serena, who is she playing for — herself or Chuck? They decide to keep their games just between the two of them with Chuck playing waiter to B’s disgruntled diner. Hilarious. Her worry that she and Chuck will be boring is a strong echo of the fans’ worry — if there’s no conflict, is there no spice?

“The Freshman”: Blair in an NYU dorm. With Vanessa and Georgina. Ugh. B’s plan to be Queen of NYU experiences flop after flop: no one attends her sushi and saki party, no one likes their gift bags, she has to resort to asking Dan Humphrey to accompany her to Georgina’s roof-top rager, and her attempt to out G as a Jesus freak backfires. Two insanely sweet moments for B in this episode: with Serena on the steps of the Met deciding she is ready for a new challenge, and at the end of the episode, crawling into bed with Chuck.

“The Lost Boy”: After her French history class, Blair heads back to the dorms to find Dan and Georgina fooling around. Ew. She heads to Chuck’s suite to surprise him (lingerie under the trench coat), but is rebuffed. It’s been 5 days and Blair is getting testy. In her mail she finds a mysterious invite to the Table Elitaire, a secret exclusive society — they want her! All she has to do is contribute a Patrick McMullan photograph to their collection, and there’s one up for auction. Alas Chuck wants that same photo. They try to distract each other with sex, but when she finds out he’s still after the picture, she steals his shoes and heads for the auction. Chuck tells her she’s special without the approval of some group. In the end, Serena gives Blair the photo and Blair gives it to Chuck — she’s over la Table. Good thing, Georgina was behind the whole fandango.Read More »

Spotted: Enough About Eve

Les jeux sont faitGOSSIP GIRLs, mes amies! That episode was just rammer-jammed full of deception. Blair made the good girl go bad, and Vanessa’s decent into evil manipulation was very Little J circa season 1. Remember when Alison Humphrey was all, “Think about the person you’re becoming”? And in comes Mama Abrams with the same message.

I’d been wondering whether (or when) we’d get another Blair dream sequence, and loved the opening All About Eve scene. As if Leighton can pull off Audrey Hepburn and Bette Davis.

My beefs with the episode:

  • If I was Taylor Momsen, I would be seriously concerned about my lack of screen time so far this season. Her raccoon eyes last season weren’t so bad. Can’t we have some Jenny time?
  • Since when are Rufus and Lily “Dan’s parents”? He still has a mother. She’s just, like, an hour outside of Manhattan. Are we calling Lily Mrs. Humphrey now? Mrs. van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey? No. And where is Eleanor Waldorf?
  • Olivia needs to stop saying “disinvited.”
  • Though the Carter & Serena scene in B’s candlelit bedroom was very Chuck & Blair–epic, that was not enough Carter for one episode. More Carter Baizen please!
  • And enough with the Welcome Back, Kotter mugs. It’s not that funny.

My favorite moments & lines:

  • Vanessa and Jenny to Dan: “People like you better when they meet our family.” zing.
  • The whole Chuck kisses Mr. Ellis scene. B: “I’ll just go powder my nose. Back in 10?” C: “I only need five.” And B’s “Out, you cable-knit queen!” and C’s “Did you really think I’d never kissed a guy before?” And kissing Chuck Bass being #27 on the Tribeca Scavenger Hunt. Adore it.
  • Dan burning his Special Chicken in the background while Olivia talks to V on the phone.
  • B to V: You’re embarrassing yourself. More than usual.”
  • Olivia’s impression of a vapid Hollywood starlet with her “Totes” and “I love you too, bitch.”
  • Blair to Lily: “Where did you learn to give a pep talk? Guantanamo?”
  • Rufus on B’s ‘speech’: “She really should have run that by someone.”
  • It was mortifying, but great for secondary embarrassment when Vanessa (finally) admitted she wished Dan’s parents were hers . . . right in front of her own absentee mother. Eep.
  • Sigh, Blair’s new minions make me miss the old minions.

WGOSSIP GIRLhat did you think? Believable that Nate could trick Serena? That Serena could light all those candles without setting her mane ablaze? Did Blair’s flatish, straight hair upset you more than her deception of Meester Chuck? The Chuck and Blair fight upsets me to my core, but we needed some conflict there to keep the sparks alive. And next week! Our first ever Gossip Girl Halloween.