soup is just an evening smoothie

Heben, we made it! It is officially Day 3 and I made it thru the two days of light fasting, and am now drinking a Pumpkin Smoothie, which already feels heartier than the smoothies of yesterday. Bless, bless. (As they say in Iceland.)

Can’t tell you how excited I am to eat nuts and chicken today.

So fucking excited.

And I get a cup of coffee.

Nothing like deprivation to make normal things seem like the biggest treats in the universe. Geez.

how many vegetables can you eat in 1 day

I made it through day 1! yes, I did leave work early so I could nap away my caffeine headache and general light-headedness, but goddamn it here I am. Alive and full of vegetables.

Day started with a cayenne lemon water situation that I quite enjoyed; smoothie was okayyyy, but I’m not used to protein powder, so it was a little powdery in consistency and there’s stevia in it, which….I will get used to?? Anywho: that was the big meal, then vegetables and an apple for the rest of the day. I was surprisingly not that hungry, which is a good indicator that I was eating way more food than I needed when I was in charge of what to eat and how much. That said, I am so looking forward to eating chicken salad for lunch on Wednesday, I can’t even tell you.

I wanted to skip doing the yin yoga video this eve, but I did not, I did it and it was hard but also relaxing and great and high fives me for doing a thing.

My brain is a little dull and achy, but my mood is chipper and I’m feeling pretty proud of me for doing 1 of 28 days as instructed. And hopefully getting thru today will make getting thru tomorrow easier, cuz I know it’s legit possible for this human to survive light fasting, which is not even that light comparatively speaking.

Shout-out to Laura who had my back when my boss happened to bring my #1 favourite pie into the office for all to eat: “She can’t eat it, Jack!” Didn’t even smell it, or creepily watch anyone else eating it.

okay, nightie night!

xo

transformer

At Laura’s request: I am back to the blogging! (At least for right this second.)

I’m one sleep away from embarking on a 28 Day Transformation challenge (I hope I transform into a unicorn or cheetah), and although there is a private Facebook group for questions and venting and all that good stuff, I just might post here too about what is happening and what is effing hard.

Here’s what I think will be effing hard: two days of “light fasting.” I have never light-fasted in my life, save for when I am asleep. I keep reminding myself that I will not be Actually Fasting, that millions of people fast routinely and they don’t drop dead at their desks, and that I have a lot a lot a lot of stored-up energy in my fatty fat deposits ready for consuming. But, also, no coffee for those first two days.

It’ll be fine, right? It’ll be fine.

It will be more than fine because I am super duper sick of gaining weight and never exercising and feeling lousy. So, challenge accepted. Let’s turn this tanker around. (I say that not to be disparaging about my size; just it takes a lot of effort to turn an ocean-traversing vessel to a new direction. I am that ship. Okay, a little disparaging about my weight gainage.)

Wish me luck.

microphone check micro-microphone check

um, hi. I stopped doing all the things I wanted to be doing for a good six weeks, two and a half months. but I’m fixing to get back into it.

Went to the nutritionist on Monday. She reminded me to prepare for the lazy days or the busy days when I’m feeling best and able (freeze burger patties! eat ’em instead of frozen pizzas on the can’t be bothered dinner days); to celebrate my successes (I do not buy flavoured yogurt anymore — goodbye bonus sugar!); and to always eat an afternoon snack so I am not so desperate for dinner. I love snacks!!

So that was a pep-up.

I also did a goodly amount of walking and swimming while on vacation and remembered how great that is, and now the weather is inching towards nice and the sun is sometimes out and goddamn winter, get gone with you.

so, Spring, hope, pep getting into step again, words being typed into this here blogging window, etc.

primrose

morning, morning. The plant I bought a few weeks back, a primrose, is in a state and I need to save it. It is wilted and its flowers are just done with existing and its leaves are floppy and is it too cold or too hot, or too thirsty? Project Primrose: Activate.

I am also project primrose-ing my own self (what? I dunno, I have not had very many sips of coffee, okay?). yesterday was a soft launch, starting with me deleting the games from my phone and ipad. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you that I was constantly playing Two Dots and some form of candy crushing and whatever else I could get my hands on while bingeing podcasts (and a little X-Files action, in honour of Scully’s return last night).

But those days are over! A fond-ish memory and no more. I did yoga yesterday morning, and today I got up a little closer to my official wake-up time and did my yoga. And guess what? I still like it and it still makes me feel better than before. (My wrist is unhappy tho, so I do a very, very weird downward dog and cobra thing.)

Today I’m going to add my walking back in, and I’m back to Ban-uary rules as of yesterday. I figured out a new monitoring system for exercise, weight, & steps right in my little calendar book, but I’m not sure how I want to monitor my diet yet. It’s too much for that page; am I keeping a second journal thing that I write in in the evenings? I’ve tried the apps in the past and found them a bit too laborious. Let’s try the evening recap.

My mind palace finally feels cleared up — I blazed thru a lot of work clutter this weekend, and just feel more On It than I have since, oh I dunno, early December. The one thing that is making me a little cray-cray is my tinnitus. It is just so screamy these days, you guys. Like, shhhhhhh plz & thx. But healthier diet, exercise, yoga, good sleeps, and all those things that are generally good for humans are good for humans with incredibly annoying buzzing imaginary sounds in their mind palaces too. (realizing I still haven’t watched the Sherlock chrimbo special; what is my damage.)

Anywho, that is the status report on me.

Reading recommendation: Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. I agree with Toni Morrison: it should be required reading.

shine

okay i am back! no more not-doing-shit. it is back on. I am ready / funfetti. (metaphorical funfetti, because no more eating rando treats like it is not Ban-uary.)

remember how Heather Vee has a word of the year? today I thought of what mine just might be: shine. I know, I know. But here’s the thing: when Taraji P. Henson reposts her onscreen children’s photos on the Insta — of, say, Jussie Smollett singing beautifully or looking ridiculously handsome — she often captions them shine, baby, shine, and I love that. And fuck they are shining. An all-encompassing and yet directed word o’ the year. I’m gonna test it out.

jamal

 

brunch

Tammy very rightly pointed out that I like doing my super cheese dance party exercise sessions — and that made me realize that I am doing a classic Obliger thing. Work is busy, social life is busy and I’m prioritizing those obligations over the ones I’ve made to myself, even though I like doing the things I want to be doing. Prioritizing, or using the external obligations as a loophole to get out of the sometimes-very-hard work of changing my habits.

at any rate, no I didn’t do any exercise yesterday (I’m 1/5 for the week, with two days left) and no I haven’t yoga’d. Surprising no one, the number on my scale is not as low as it was when I was rocking this game in November.

that is a problem for another day! for today is the annual Ladies Brunch, and I am jazzed to the max about it. 8 pals, mimosas forever, lots of tasty food, a yankee swap, and general good times and catch-ups. And Leanna already Instagrammed her yankee swap present (not so secret santa, I guess), and it’s a goodie. Erin and I are going to form an alliance and win it for the apartment. Unless she double-crosses me. We. Shall. See.

(Also if that link doesn’t work? It’s cuz I had to copy it from my phone’s Insta and then retype it on my laptop, cuz I blocked all my social media sites. This may get annoying. If it does work: follow Leanna on Insta! She takes beauteous photographs.)

Have fun on your holiday, Laura!