"i tried my best / but your head is such a mess"

the one good part about having a cold: you get to play kleenex basketball! i am pretty good. i would say 9 out of 10 go in the basket. i am my own dream kleenex basketball team. i am #1 (of 1). this week i learned the word “sensorium,” as in “I have a clouded sensorium.” it seems weird that i didn’t already know it but! now i do. this has been a funny cold, where besides the kleenex basketball, my only other symptom is the sensorium fail. so i just feel dopey and fuzzy all the time. it makes typing hard. good thing words and accuracy are not important to my job! ha ha. poor suckers of books i worked on this week!

i am listening to a great Madonna song right this second called “Keep it Together.” and it’s her 50th birthday! it’s my 49th on Monday. we are both Leos, which is a pretty cool sign because of the lion. otherwise I think it’s suppoed to mean I am bossy and like gold. which is only half correct. one time my friend’s mom gave me a book about Leos and she had gone through making notes beside bits of info that said, “This is so true!” “Just like you!” “Interesting…” and so on. It made the book worth reading! Another time she did a tarot card reading in her car in the parking lot of the Ajax GO station. We were waiting for my train to arrive and take me back to Toronto. Her reading said that I would work in the arts and maybe that I would find true love or something. Half true again!



i am listening to the playlists i made for my friend Erino’s birthday this year: The Future Is T-Rex (top/left) and The General’s Breakfast (bottom/right). They feature: songs by everyone we’ve ever seen live together (or nearly seen), songs we sing at karaoke, songs i only know because of her love of musical theatre, songs that remind us of the now-defunct Om festival and old work places, and a song that she is really good at singing in her parents’ suburban living room. that is “part of your world” and at one time i had the whole thing on my voicemail. it was fucking funny and great.

another time, way back in the day, one of E’s friends (was it Kerry C?) organized a Talent Show in celebration of her birthday. This is a great idea and should be done more often. Clairey and I did a dance routine to a medley of pop hits: Electric Youth (Debbie Gibson), Monkey (George Michael), Crazy: The Stop Remix (Britney), Sometimes (Britney), um…crap that’s all i remember. what else, Claire? Anyway, we wore matchy outfits and it was great! For the Monkey part, we did monkey arms and noises and then monkey danced from side to side.

who is coming with me to Fan Expo next weekend? so far the answer is NO ONE. crap crap crap. it was so fun last year, you guys. but a bit pricey. maybe i will just dress up as a BSGer and stay home and watch Buffy all day knowing that there are thousands of others in my city that day who know that is an awesome thing to do.

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hearts and anchors

good morning, kids. i am (voluntarily) listening to hannah montana & miley cyrus songs. oh yes indeedy do. the books i work on truly and sometimes long-termly (oh it’s a word) influence my outside-o-work life: listening to heart and sabbath and miley, playing scrabulous, wanting to learn tae kwon do, and to dress up as a chicken and wrestle while people throw tortillas at me and a punk band plays. oh ecw, you are such a wacky wonderful place to work.


today is the first day of a WHOLE WEEK OFF from that worky. the plan: go to the eastern townships tomorrow to have a hangout with the extend-a-mix family. i plan on jumping in a lake as often as possible. i’ll have to grab a good book for le reading. but what? no
gossip girl novels on hand…

i just finished Pulpy and Midge (par Jessica Westhead) and it was a delight to the max. It’s a story about a man (Pulpy) who works in a dullsville office, and his wife (Midge), and the new boss and the boss’s wife, and the secretary receptionist. Simple story in an unglamorous setting but i was sooooo tense (in a page-turning, suspense novel way) reading it. Coach House just won the Premier’s Award for being awesome and they are having a good sale so you could totes go buy P&M right NOW.

MoCCA seems like ages ago now but i never told you how it went: it was aces. i truly do love that festival. turned out that i had excellent and talented neighbour tables. Exhibit A: the Snake Oil series by Chuck McBuck. Exhibit B: JP Coovert’s comics (from One Percent Press), particularly when doubt comes busting through the door, which m. and i suggest we send out in lieu of rejection letters.

i am having minor brain fail trying to remember all the things i’ve been meaning to blog about over the past few weeks:

  • go see Get Smart, it’s f’n funny;
  • the 8th Georgia Nicholson book, Love Is a Many Trousered Thing, is just as double cool with bells as the first one;
  • So You Think You Can Dance is once again and always the best competition show on the telly (tho I don’t have clear favourites like I did last season with Sabra and Danny);
  • I think Maddie is a perfectly good name, despite Madeline being (according to erino) a vair, vair popular name these days;
  • my friends’ babies and kids are really and truly impossibly cute and charming, nary a weird-looking annoying one amongst them;
  • allergies suck the bag;
  • that expression is weird;
  • Oil of Oregano has saved me from countless colds;
  • Vitamin Water is the glory-glory-glorious best beverage ever: sometimes drinking water is boring, most times juice is too sweet, V. Water is the perfect middle ground plus vitamins that I prolly don’t need but who cares! i need a case of this stuff;
  • Mindy Kaling (Kelly from The Office) has a blog where she talks about stuff she likes to buy, which Work E. told me about . . . nine hundred million J.Crew.com purchases later, I can’t visit her blog cuz I am too easily swayed to spend money I don’t have; on the plus side I now own the best girly shoes I’ve ever owned. Witness (mine are different [red with more polkas and a yellow strap] and 500% awesomer):

oh man i am sure there are other things i should tell you but it’s time to trip over to the st. lawrence market for bagels (for train trip sandwiches for me and my bro) and other good things. i feel like cooking a fresh and delicious dinner tonight; i’ve been lax in that dept lately. wish me good luck and gods speed…

mo mocca for me me

Shit you guys, tomorrow bright and g’d early, i am going to the aeroport and then getting on a plane and then then then i will be in Hamburger-a-Gogo Land where I will be representin’ ECW at the MoCCA Art Festival.

It’s pretty hard work: i have to talk to strangers, look at wickedly cool comics and art, talk to 12-year-olds wearing Simpsons t-shirts, spy on Ryan North (creator of the best thing ever) and hang out with the genius Hilary Price and Dave Coverly. So. I hope you guys enjoy your weekend. I will be working.

ALSO and EXTRA BONUS: E. and T. (not to be confused with E.T.) will also be in NYC and we will no doubt throw down the fun times. Starting with a trip out to Coney Island tomorrow afternoon. The plan is to take pictures. And go to a freak show where we will sing Britney’s “Freak Show.” Encooorre.

Reading Railroad

i have officially given up on The Historian. Five-hundred pages in, I got stuck. I would just look at it sitting on my little table and not want to pick it up. That meant that I didn’t read anything (by any ‘thing’ i mean ‘book,’ for i read loads of other things: blogs and ads and emails and page proofs and food packages…) for two weeks. I’ll try again in a few years. So I’ve walked it out to the my main bookshelf and put it away. The question is: will I read all the book club posts on it and potentially come across plot spoilers? I think I will.

I made an excellent choice for my post-Historian read: Housekeeping vs. The Dirt by Nick Hornby. I got this book for chrimbo from my aunt & uncle (well, technically for the winter solstice, cause that’s what they celebrate). It’s a collection of Nick’s essays on what he’s reading and his thoughts on reading/writing. A perfectly bookish present for your niece who works in publishing. When I opened it (not in their presence) I must have made a face cause my da said, oh good, I hate Nick Hornby too. The only thing he had read and I had subsequently read was How to Be Good. (I mistakenly plucked my da’s copy out of a box on its way to Goodwill, along with The Alchemist.) I only vaguely remember the plot of it now but I do know I thought it was dreadfully useless, not funny, and trying very hard to be clever. Off to Goodwill it went with the half-read copy of The Alchemist.

So I wasn’t too jazzed about more Hornby. But since I am SO open-minded, I gave him a shot. I decided my litmus test with Housekeeping v. Dirt would be his reaction to The Dirt — the Motley Crue memoir — cause I had a very strong one. Two years ago, I started reading it and had this to report after 50 pages: i abhor them [motley crue]. they are vile and nasty and have done and then reported to the world plainly & simply terrible things. I literally threw the book across the room in disgust.

The Dirt didn’t pop up til late in this very slim book (such a nice change post-historian) and by the time it did, Nick and I were getting along quite well. I quite enjoyed reading about what he was reading about. He does try to be clever but I found him charming and most of the time, well, clever. It had the same appeal to me as Kerry’s blog: how books come to you, how you read them, and what you think of them (among other bits & bobs about life) from a writer’s perspective.

Reading the essay about The Dirt made me laugh out loud on the streetcar. He reprints one particularly awful sentence from the book in teeny tiny print so you must participate in your own corruption.

And weirdly, The Dirt isn’t a bad book. For a start, it’s definitive, if you’re looking for the definitive book on vile, abusive, misogynistic behavior: if there are any worse stories than this in rock and roll, they aren’t worth telling, because the human mind would not be capable of comprehending them without the aid of expert gynecological and pharmaceutical assistance.
….
Oh, but what do any of these things matter? Is it really possible that Motley Crue have destroyed all the literature in the world, everything that came before them, and everything written since? I rather fear it is.

So there you have it. I (of course) had a more rageful, less funny response to the book but Nick and I agreed. I’d read his essays again. (I’ll still give his fiction a pass though and wait to rent the film adaptations.)

Next up: Lullabies for Little Criminals. Super Club Member Barbie B gave me a copy over Chrimbo and it’s been waiting to be read. I picked it up off the shelf yesterday and do quite love it (about 100 pgs in). Excellent time to start it: yesterday it won Canada Reads.

On the way to meet Erin after work yesterday, I was reading it on the 501 streetcar and the woman beside me was spying on it, trying to read the odd sentence here and there. When I put it away just before my stop, she asked me what I thought of it so far and we had a very brief bookish conversation, which included us saying in unison, “Canada Reads!” What could be better than that?

After a very romantic candlelit dinner, Erin and I made our way over to Tasha’s via the Eaton Centre. We stopped in Sephora (a make-up emporium) to smell some super-sweet perfumes (Brit’s perfume totally won the smell test). And in addition to lip plumper & bronzer, they were selling a Sephora edition of Monopoly. Who the frak would buy that? That is absurd, right?

My mum just called. Tomorrow we are going on a wee road trip out to the Lake Huron hood (with da in the car and maybe a sibling or cousin too) to look at a house where my mum might happily live when she retires. Guess where the house is? CooCoo Valley. Perfect.

choose charlotte’s adventure

a little late, granted, as i promised the conclusion to love’s paper trail yesterday. let’s play this choose your own adventure styles. last we left Charlotte and Kurt, she was working, he was entering (and sweaty already).

Let’s continue…

Scene 1 (Continued)
Int. Office. Day.

In her surprise to see the glistening Kurt standing in the otherwise empty office, Charlotte drops her pencil to the floor. She makes no move to pick it up. It rolls to a stop by her shoe-enveloped foot. Kurt puts down the two boxes of twenty-pound economically priced high quality paper with a brightness of eighty-four. He strides across the room to kneel in front of Charlotte. He picks up her pencil, holding it just out of her reach.

KURT (smiling coyly)
I’ll give you your pencil back if you give me your phone number.
We could grab a drink later…

What will Charlotte do??
(a) Realize instantly that this is her only chance in life for love and make a bold move.
(b) Find a pen, sign for the paper, and show Kurt her curt side.
(c) Always thinking of others, give Kurt her friend Natasha’s name and number and get her pencil back. (It is her favourite.)

chop. chop. chop.

status report on new year’s resolutions.

tea drinking: check. vitamin taking: check. lunch bringing: 3 of 5 days. water drinking: up.

new music: yes, check. nadine took me to the emily haines show last saturday and i lurved it. then i bought knives don’t have your back and have listened to it all week long and am in fact listening to it right this second (while i sip water and wait for my rooibos tea to brew).

exercise: hold on to your caps, jacks. i went to a pilates class with adrienne last night. for the first time in my whole f’n life. and i am in so much achy-ache-ville-party-hurt-pain today. but it was fun and not too creepy at all. i shall go back there next thurs.

saw mum twice this week (twas her bday). there’s her cake from
the mandarin. she did not eat it. i wrote and mailed a thanksya card to my g’ma. i wore gold eyeshadow (which is actually more bronze than gold) and will again.

Failures: have not got tattoo yet. have not had a dance party. or read the paper. no travel, no crafts.

The conclusion to Love’s Paper Trail will be posted (hopefully) on Sunday, just so Corey R. can sleep at night knowing what happened between Charlotte and Kurt. Tash, S’rain, Oluh, and I wrote it over cocktails at Ted’s on Wednesday. So get ready for some stellar screenplayin. OR (i just had a good idea) we could turn it into a choose your own adventure. I give ya a couple options. You choose. We write it up and go that way. Anyone game?

my 2007 books so far consist entirely of ecw titles (#3 = to be continued…volume 3) and i should very much get back to reading our book club book, the historian. that’s what i’ll do right now.