Gossip Girl: The Jewel of Denial (ep503) & Memoirs of an Invisible Dan (ep504)

Bonjour, Upper East Siders! I thought I’d do a one-two combo post on eps 5.03 and 5.04 of Gossip Girl, because well frankly I don’t have much to say about “The Jewel of Denial.” Besides: whhaaaat? Admittedly, I watched it while on a work trip, super exhausted, but it seemed really over the top, campy, and soapy. And not in the good Gossip Girl way. Like, why were Carol and Ivy staring at each other and narrowing their eyes for, like, ever? Why did that plot line with Nate and Elizabeth Hurley exist at all? It made ZERO sense. I know Nate is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but seriously? That crushed the realism standards of this show. I have decided to jewel-of-deny the existence of this dumb plot.

On the plus side, Blair told Dan he looked like a Muppet. And Chuck got a puppy and then cuddled with it.

Onwards — to “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan”!

First of all, I kind of love how the Inside book cover resembles Gossip Girl book covers, but more grown up and manly. Nicely played, art department. It’s always fun for me (a bookish person) when my shows have bookish plotlines, and this was extra fun — mainly because of Blair’s compliment to Dan: “it looks very well punctuated and I like the font.” If only I was bold enough to bust that out at some event where I haven’t read a single word of the book…

In true Gossip Girl fashion, the reactions to Dan’s book were more than a little over the top (really, Daniel Day Lewis cares??), but the emotional results were interesting. With the exception of Blair, Dan seems to have painted less than sympathetic portraits of all of them, including himself, and the only person who takes anything positive from that is Chuck. He doesn’t want to die alone and be discovered by the help, so he reaches out to Lily. A+ on that, Charles.

I was a little worried for Ivy/Charlie when her plotline dovetailed with Elizabeth Hurley’s, but it may actually prove interesting — what will that Diana have Ivy do? Spy? I also like the idea of an Ivy-Nate romance. Especially now that Nate’s sorted out his hair. (Anyone else feel ripped off that we didn’t actually get to see Nate-as-Derek kiss that Jonathan stand-in in the Inside reenactment?)

Looks like Louis’s new trust in Blair will be put to the test tonight, and I, for one, hope … they break up. Feels like we’ve had Louis around long enough, right? And most importantly, it looks like Blair’s hair is finally sorted out. No more bangs for Leighton Meester.

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One thought on “Gossip Girl: The Jewel of Denial (ep503) & Memoirs of an Invisible Dan (ep504)

  1. Agreed. Louis is getting old. I’m really tired of this whole Monaco-invades-UES thing. It’s time for the royal family to make their way back to the throne and leave Blair be.

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