Gossip Girl: The Kids Are Not All Right (ep 412)

And we’re back. With an episode that wasn’t, to my mind, as kickass and classic as the one before the break but I like where things seem to be going, and our new characters.

The Serena-and-Chuck-sabotage-Lily plot: when will these kids learn that despite all their previous efforts they suck at pulling these things off? Maybe it was the lack of Blair Waldorf Expertise in the plot, or maybe it was because there was no good reason why Lily wouldn’t just tell her children what she was up to — since they already believed she was up to something worse. But I loved seeing Serena in the Lily guise and loved all of Chuck’s totally creepy mother jokes.

As Serena picked something else (anything else?) over a heart-to-heart with Dan, I yelled at Dan to leave, don’t miss your interview! Surprisingly he ignored me. And Blair, who sees right to the heart of him in her usual perceptive way — except she’s not using her insight cruelly. Their not-friendship friendship bookended the episode — the ticket stubs, the second movie outing — and from the looks of the next ep, we’re going to get more D & B time. Something I am ALL for. Dan is most entertaining when in awkward situations, and Blair flabbergasted is also something to behold. The quality of these two’s banter is unrivaled. And besides Dan remembered the pants are not tights rule. He’s proven himself worthy to hang out with B.

I also love me a Waldorf Women Special Talk (and I adored their statement necklace + gown look for the party), and I think this new career path (“You know ‘powerful woman’ isn’t a career?” thank you, GG writers) for Blair is a genius idea. She is an evil dictator of taste (and when she chose to say “editrix” instead of “editor” I nearly fell off the couch with joy).

What I didn’t like: the Gossip Girl narration, which has been weak all season. This wasn’t the worst, but I hate when we break for commercial and I’m groaning because of a super lame pun/simile/metaphor/nonsensical sassy sounding turn of phrase. GG, the narrator, used to have real bite and add something to the show. Not it detracts. Also: the silver dress they put poor Kelly Rutherford in — hideous.

As for the Thorpes, I welcome them from Chicago. Maybe Russell Thorpe can finally break up Rufus and Lily. Maybe Chuck has met his business and sex obsessed counterpart in Raina Thorpe. I don’t mind these hostile takeover storylines as long as the main point is the characters, not convoluted plots that unravel if you think too hard on them.

Next week: “Damien Darko.” And check out the preview clip…Eric VDW has a storyline?? (Or at the very least, a scene!) What the what.

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