Gossip Girl: “War at the Roses” (ep 407)

Shall we start with the end!? The “hatred”-fueled romp on the piano, with visible knicker removal and much groping — a classic Chuck and Blair moment, very season 1. The Waldorf-Bass Treaty may be Nate and Serena’s only good idea to date. But being temporarily relationship-less — not enemies, not friends — didn’t last long for Chuck and Blair and I am glad. It wasn’t exactly a surprising twist that they hooked up post almost-birthday party, but their scenes in “War at the Roses” certainly made it a classic Chuck/Blair ep.

I sort of don’t care about the Serena and Colin Must Wait Before They Can Sleep Together plot. Colin feels like a no-personality guy just there to complicate things in the Juliet/Serena mystery. Juliet stalks Serena, Serena stalks Colin, S idiotically turns to Juliet for help. We still don’t know what Serena is responsible for but I can’t wait to find out what crime deserves the punishment of … being expelled? Is that Juliet and Ben’s endgame or is that just a step in a master plan to completely destroy Serena?

Dan and Eric, in matching plaid shirts, plotted against Chuck and Blair — “We have righteousness and our parents’ anniversary on our side.” — and failed. Then Dan persevered despite Eric ditching. While there were certainly some funny moments that came out of this plotline, it annoyed me that immediately after the Jenny episode, we have another Humphrey falling into the evil, evil ways of the UES. Really? We’re in season 4 and we’ve seen the righteous characters get involved in schemes a million times already. It just felt like there was nothing else to do with Dan but use him as a pawn in the greater story (Chuck and Blair’s) that the writers wanted to tell.

But onwards:

  • Dan: “Vanessa just got back from the commune.” Her entire character encapsulated in that sentence.
  • Add to your Gossip Girl Reading List: Blair’s present from Cyrus, a signed copy of This I Remember by Eleanor Roosevelt, and S’s favorite book, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Beautiful and Damned
  • Chuck to Dan: “You really don’t know how to stage a run-in, do you? Cut to the chase.” yes.
  • B called Little J GOTHIC BARBIE.
  • Blair impresses the Dean with her reference to her article on Planned Parenthood v. Casey.
  • Blair: “Serena, do you have amnesia? Juliet isn’t your friend.”
  • Love any episode with Eleanor Waldorf. A chat in the kitchen between mother and daughter after a party = love.
  • Holy cameo overload. The guest list at the party featured many tons-o-famous-people, some actually there — like Rachel Zoe, Robyn, and Cynthia Rowley — and some just name-dropped, like Patricia Ireland, Jonathan Franzen, Madeleine Albright.
  • More Nelly Yuki references please!
  • So the karaoke video of B singing “Stand By Your Man”? First of all: Leighton is so super cute. But it was a bit of a letdown that that’s her big secret. Made better by hearing Robyn perform “Hang with Me.” Such a beautiful song and perfect for the moment.
  • I love that Lily didn’t care about Dan becoming an evil scheming Upper East Sider: she has shoe cookies. Good thing Rufus saw that Dan has secret paper crafting skills; he can love his son again.

Choice outfit: B’s green tweed suit with a hairband — it’s a classic Blair look, complete with hairband, but a grown-up version. Perfect for negotiating a peace treaty with your ex.
Title inspired by The War of the Roses (1989, dir. Danny DiVito): Adapted from a novel of the same name, this movie stars Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as a couple whose marriage falls apart and we learn of their messy divorce through the narrator, the one and only Danny DiVito. The husband and wife won’t give up the house and so they battle it out with sabotage and ruthlessness and dish-smashing and car-crashing and endangerment to pets. I loved this movie when I first saw it (when I was 10? I don’t know how I saw this movie when I was 10 but nevermind…) and on re-watch, there are still some really great comedic moments.

Next up: “Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.” More Chuck & Blair hookups! It’s season one all over again, my friends!



2 thoughts on “Gossip Girl: “War at the Roses” (ep 407)

  1. Serena is becoming dumber and dumber as the series progresses. Her list of relationships are filled with shameful hookups. Hooking up with boarding school professors, a married congressman, an annoyingly condenscending artist who wears geek chic glasses WITHOUT the glass lenses and girly scarves wrapped around his neck, the list goes on and on. Serena deserves the takedown, because quite frankly…I’m sick of her. I’m sick of her getting things that she doesn’t deserve (which is basically most of the things she ends up getting), I’m sick of guys crawling back to her when she doesn’t deserve a second chance, and I’m just downright SICK of everything that happens to her. Maybe then she’ll go back to the sweet and goofy Serena that we know and love.

    Blair and Chuck at the end? THANK YOU, GG WRITERS.
    Vanessa was never my favorite character but I suddenly appreciate her.
    Jenny is slowly but surely becoming ‘the old Blair’ again.
    That karaoke vid was adorable.
    Good GG episode.

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