Season 3 Refresher: Jenny Humphrey

It’s time for Jenny Tallulah Humphrey. If you missed the earlier refresher posts: read Dan, Vanessa, Nate, Serena, and Rufus and Lily‘s season so far; Blair and Chuck tomorrow!

“Reversals of Fortune”: Little J doesn’t want to leave the Hamptons where she and Eric have been happily summering and keeping Serena’s partying a secret. Since promises are important to keep. She and Eric fail to work out their white lies ahead of time and Rufus finds out about the paparazzi princess S has become. Jenny’s pretty pleased with herself now being a part of the upper crust, swanning around the polo match with her invitation.

“The Freshmen”: A Jenny-less ep.

“The Lost Boy”: Eric and Jenny flip through the auction catalog. Doo dee dooo.

“Dan de Fleurette”: Today is the first day of Jenny’s Reign at Constance and she is planning to usher in an era of Sunshine and Fairness. The New Mean Girls (Carmen, Celeste, and Jane) are dressed as mini Little Js and Queen Jenny ain’t having it. Her would-be minions aren’t interested in a hierarchy-free school so they call in Blair. Chuck gets involved too, telling Jenny she was born to rule this school, and pushes her into living out the dream she once had — when she was Brooklyn Jenny staring at the Manhattan lights. She goes with Chuck to the premiere to piss off Blair and it works. Jenny resolves to rule the school in the Waldorf style.

“Rufus Getting Married”: Jenny and Eric are mostly on the sidelines in this episode, telling Dan that Vanessa is into him (nope); Jenny practices her Queen B moves during the wedding planning (ordering one girl out since she has nothing to offer); she makes Lily’s dress; and has a little chat with Lily, giving her her ‘blessing.’

“Enough About Eve”: Jenny hang out at breakfast. She tells Dan, “People like you more when they meet our family.” That line cracks me up.

“How to Succeed in Bassness”: Jenny’s reluctant to get rid of her old clothes, which remind her of being Jenny From Brooklyn. Ruling her kingdom, she tries to be one person (a nice one) to Eric and Jonathan but a total queen with the Constance girls. Eric and Jonathan sit above her on the Met steps and Jenny retaliates. Is it the same Jenny or has her mask become her face? J tells Lily that she had “no choice” but to have her girls dump yogurt on Eric’s head. Lily orders her to be nice. But Jenny decides to only fake her niceness and get back at Eric by egging Jonathan (it’s Halloween). It’s too far for Eric who decides she wants nothing to do with Jenny. At the end of the episode, J empties her old clothes out of her closet and gets rid of her sewing machine. (No!)

“The Grandfather, Part II”: Jenny’s sick, playing Scrabble and helping Olivia keep phones and the internet away from Dan. Yawn.

“They Shoot Humphreys, Don’t They”: Cotillion! Jenny needs the perfect date and has her eye on Graham Collins (this year’s Nate Archibald). It’s Jenny’s society debut and she meets the other queens of the UES schools. She’s self-conscious because she sucks at dancing and doesn’t know anybody. Eric helps her with her moves and suggests she go with Jonathan to cotillion. After all, he’s a Whitney. Kiera, an unpopular girl from Constance, tries to get in on J’s good side by getting Graham to text her, but Eric deletes it before J reads it. At the VDW party, Blair takes over as Jenny’s mentor and insults her choice of her brother’s boyfriend as an escort. Eric is convinced that this is Jenny’s moment to choose to stay Anakin and not turn into Darth Vader. Jenny chooses the dark side, swapping Jonathan for Graham and ditching Blair as her mentor. Eric and Blair team up, make over Kiera, and nab Graham (who Eric fooled around with at Camp Suisse) to be Kiera’s date. Jenny is left escort-less and humiliated in front of everyone. Eric tells her it’s better not to be queen. But Jenny has an idea: she grabs Nate and debuts, late, with him — a college guy. J’s back on top. Jonathan dumps Eric for being a crazy schemer just like Jenny. Eric and Kiera swear to get their revenge on Jenny. Mwah-ha-ha-ha.

“Last Days of Disco Stick”: Jenny needs a date for some society party and lo and behold in walks Chuck with Damien. She takes over entertaining him (“My family’s really into waffles.”) but he seems mysteriously into the little rental boats in Central Park. Because he’s dealing drugs! More lonely and bored with her life as an UES queen than she was in Brooklyn, Jenny goes along with Damien on another deal. Chuck tracks her down and yanks her out of the situation. Back at the VDW he warns her that people like them (who are drawn to danger) have a hard time crawling back out once they go down the rabbit hole. It’s a bit too late already for Jenny who texts Damien to hang out again.

“Treasure of Serena Madre”: Jenny and Eric are still distant and in an effort to be pals again, Jenny texts Jonathan to invite him for Thanksgiving. She finds out that Eric was the one behind the cotillion plot and that he’s just been faking civility with her this whole time. Since Jenny chose being queen over their friendship, he feels fine to lie to her; she has no right to honesty. Also, in one of his best lines ever, Eric answers Jenny’s question “Is there anything you want to say to me?” with “Your sweet potatoes are bland.” Win.

“The Debarted”: Eric and Kiera get Mean Girl Sawyer to help them dethrone Jenny, giving her the same YSL bag that Jenny was planning on debuting in front of the mean girls. Jenny bitches Sawyer out, but the next day shows up with matching bags for all the girls claiming that’s why she was a bitch to Sawyer. She was ruining the friendship matchy-matchy bag time. Jenny’s outwitted Eric. At the hospital, Jenny and Eric make peace and he puts his plan to overthrow her to rest. Back in Manhattan, Jenny sneaks out to meet Damien. She’s been making all her bag-buying money from dealing with him. Jenny! No!

I’m excited for Jenny’s downward spiral, and I’m hoping she becomes the villain for the back half of the season. She can do evil so very, very well. I just hope she doesn’t lose her virginity to Damien. Ew.

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