Before we get into the episode, the most important question of all: what the eff was with the WOLF PACK on the highway?? (My working theory: they were sent by Republicans to ensnare the van der Bilt Democratic Congressman in a scandal.)
As sad as I am that we have to wait until January and then only get two episodes before the big old break March, this was such an epic episode to leave us hanging.
All season it’s felt like Serena’s been headed for that car crash, and she’s never been lamer than when she was whining on the phone to Tripp about being left sans coffee and cable. Seeing her turn to Lily for help and having Blair and her family and Nate at her side was so … well, touching.
It’s been a while since Gossip Girl made me teary, multiple times in the same episode, and “The Debarted” brought that back in full force. Maybe because Stephanie Savage wrote it — her first episode of the season and the first she’s written all on her owny since “O Brother, Where Bart Thou?” This definitely felt like the sequel to that: Chuck dealing with his father’s death, pushing Blair away before realizing he does need her and his family; Dan making a declaration of love, this time to Vanessa and being shot down — a totally packed episode to end the first half of the season on a high note after some sketchy plotlines.
I’m glad the House Husband Humphrey issue was addressed. Just today at work we were talking about how empty and lame Rufus is this season. Ordering in Thanksgiving dinner? That was so not a Humphrey move. He does nothing but try to make Lily happy — and now it looks like he’s realized it may not have been worth losing his entire personality for.
So what exactly was in that letter from Doctor van der Woodsen? “Dear Serena, Your mother and I were alone … together … in a hotel room. Love Daddykins.” I’m guessing that Lily and Doc VDW didn’t actually have an affair; there’s gotta be a bigger twist. Another sibling hidden away somewhere? And Lily is such a wackjob — lying all the time to everyone about huge things but then having moments of being the perfect mother to Serena and to Charles. She confounds me!
Not that I needed an episode full of awesome Nate Archibald moments to secure my undying love for him but OMG. He’s hilarious with Dan and sweeter than sweet Nate pie with Serena and super handsome and punches out a-holes (but maybe spelled his cousin’s name wrong in his phone. it’s two Ts in Tripp, right?). I am totally 100% on Team Nate and Serena. Please let them be happy at least for an episode or two. She needs him.
To recap where we’ve left our darling UESers for the Christmas hols what seems like eternity:
- Serena’s recovering with Prince Nate at her side,
- Little J is a drug dealer (fail) but totes BFFs with Eric again (win),
- Lily’s been caught in Lie #978 by Rufus, who may or may not be stepping out with the Condo Board Lady With the Unfortunate Hairline,
- Blair and Serena are besties who tenderly mock each other’s PJs and make me cry (what? I love S and B friendshippy moments), and Blair has her Chuck back,
- Chuck has his dead father off his back and his “dead” mother alive,
- Dan loves Vanessa but Vanessa likes douchey Paul Hoffman, and
- the New Mean Girls have matching handbags bought with drug money and they also have names: Sawyer, Carmen, and Jane. (Don’t ask me which is which.)
- Making a Gossip Girl blast about yourself. Or watch mine.
- Reading Eric Daman’s book, You Know You Want It. Let’s be honest: I will read any book that has a foreword by Leighton Meester.
- Watching Blake Lively in the Private Lives of Pippa Lee.
- Revisiting the first two seasons of Gossip Girl with a handy-dandy guide…like my book! Which is also available for Kindle, y’all!
- Thinking about how amazingly well Ed Westwick did in this episode. So broken, so Chuck Bass. That moment as he and Blair walked down the hospital hallway where he sighed and then kissed her on the head? Mad love for Chuck and Blair, and those clever, clever actors Ed and Leighton.
Thoughts on the episode, my spider-monkeys?
**Oh you just can’t trust Wikipedia anymore. It said two more episodes in January, then the big break. But Gossip Girl herself says no new episodes til March. :(