Spotted: Carrnal Knowledge

Watching the first third of this episode, I was like, oh pretty good, excellent Dorota coverage, and then. and then. Dan Humphrey. Dan HUMPhrey. ZOMG: DAN HUMPHREY. I know we all knew it was gonna happen but still: exciting times! Of course, Dan would only have an illicit affair with the teacher once he is single and she isn’t a teacher at his school but whatevs.

First let’s forget that it’s implausible that both Serena and Dan would know where Rachel “Commie Cornhusker” Carr lives.

Now let’s remember some of the highlights, shall we!

  • Blair’s speech to the troops: This. Is. Constance.
  • Hazel: Thank you, Jesus. Blair: No, thank you, Blair.
  • Points to Vanessa for “The Chuck Bass version of Narnia?” but why was she wearing green neon pants?
  • Remember when Dan dissed Jenny’s raccoon eye makeup and said she looked like one of the Incredibles? Was I the only person in the universe who thought Jenny looked cool? Oh man. I was.
  • Forget the Eyes Wide Shut sex-party secret society mystery. What the frak were Nate and Vanessa laughing about so crazily when they were playing the piano? Srsly. All those people do is get along and make out. Argh.
  • How incredibly tall is Serena compared to Ms Carr? it was like My Giant.
  • Chuck’s double-jointed masseuse makes “the kama sutra feel new again.” haaaaa.
  • Note: Blair loves Damages. And 11th hour exculpatory evidence.
  • Blair IS eerily prophetic! But also: a liar.
  • Serena needs a bigger umbrella.
Some wardrobe details stolen from Blair’s at-school outfit: H&M coat, BGN skirt and Robert Clergerie shoes (pictured in yellow. look how effing cute they are.) and bag. Serena in her schooly garb: James Perse blouse and sweater, her uniform skirt, Hue tights and Diane von Furstenberg boots and carrying a Nuti bag.

now an important QUESTION: Why is Chuck all crazy in love with this new Elle girl? WHY? I know Blair was all, “Have your peonies back, Bass; it’s over.” But he loves Blair. Blair is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, not new skeezy high-class escort/nanny girl. I boo her and her thin lips.

Also: now that she’s gone missing, are we ramping up to an end of season murder investigation? Prime suspect: Chuck Bass?

As always, kids, I will post next week’s trailer after some dedicated GG fan uploads it to youtube. (thanks, keener!) Until then, some new, some old Gossip Girl cast—related items to keep us sated until the next episode:

**Update: so APPARENTLY we aren’t getting a new episode until either March 2 or March 9! But that episode is called “Blair Waldorf’s Day Off.” Which bodes well. I’m hoping she sings Twist & Shout on a parade float and someone kicks an expensive car through a glass wall into a ravine. (schedule info from Gossip Girl Insider, there’s some spoilery plot details on that link so watch out!)

5 thoughts on “Spotted: Carrnal Knowledge

  1. My schedule is very busy all of a sudden, which I’m blaming on my thesis — even though it will induce that nice and accomplished feeling I get after I finish papers, the whole process is just so annoying. Sadly, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to watch Gossip Girl consistently anymore. Oh I will try, but for me, other shows (namely Supernatural, Kyle XY, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Lost, and the much anticipated Dollhouse) are far more important at this juncture. I am going to try very hard to catch the weekly episodes but if I fail I just thought I’d tell you I’m pretty much going to be just checking your blog for the weekly synopsis. I do enjoy the way you intermingle summaries with humor with insults with regalia commentary. It’s pretty much everything I could hope for in a blog. Thanks for writing so consistently, it’s nice to know I can always count on your wit and sardonic sense of humor to lighten up my day.–Adela P

  2. thanks Adela! that is very nice to hear. I cannot wait for Dollhouse (and won’t have to wait too much longer!).Good luck with your thesis! I am also feeling the trudging feeling as my deadline looms…

  3. I have that H&M jacket in blacket. Thass why I recognized instantly. And I thought, why's she wearing H&M when she can wear D&G?My word verification today is "blersts."

  4. Hey babe: I only JUST got around to finally catching up on my beloved GG last night, and I was cracking up when Nate was playing the piano, too. :) The reason they were laughing so hard is that they were playing the eerie music from Eyes Wide Shut. Every time Tom Cruise enters the crazy house, that music is playing. Just like one or two notes at a time, and it’s really weird (same note, a couple of octaves apart). I remember it because the trailer played before every movie I saw for months, and it had the same notes in it. You can see it (and hear the notes) here:

    Yes, you were the only person who loved the makeup. :) But that’s OK, we still love you. And I still hate Dan Humphrey.The Dorota coverage in the beginning of the ep was brilliant!Word verification: Astorin. Sounds like a designer Blair would wear. Or a prescription med Chuck would take.

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