Watching the first third of this episode, I was like, oh pretty good, excellent Dorota coverage, and then. and then. Dan Humphrey. Dan HUMPhrey. ZOMG: DAN HUMPHREY. I know we all knew it was gonna happen but still: exciting times! Of course, Dan would only have an illicit affair with the teacher once he is single and she isn’t a teacher at his school but whatevs.
First let’s forget that it’s implausible that both Serena and Dan would know where Rachel “Commie Cornhusker” Carr lives.
Now let’s remember some of the highlights, shall we!
- Blair’s speech to the troops: This. Is. Constance.
- Hazel: Thank you, Jesus. Blair: No, thank you, Blair.
- Points to Vanessa for “The Chuck Bass version of Narnia?” but why was she wearing green neon pants?
- Remember when Dan dissed Jenny’s raccoon eye makeup and said she looked like one of the Incredibles? Was I the only person in the universe who thought Jenny looked cool? Oh man. I was.
- Forget the Eyes Wide Shut sex-party secret society mystery. What the frak were Nate and Vanessa laughing about so crazily when they were playing the piano? Srsly. All those people do is get along and make out. Argh.
- How incredibly tall is Serena compared to Ms Carr? it was like My Giant.
- Chuck’s double-jointed masseuse makes “the kama sutra feel new again.” haaaaa.
- Note: Blair loves Damages. And 11th hour exculpatory evidence.
- Blair IS eerily prophetic! But also: a liar.
- Serena needs a bigger umbrella.
now an important QUESTION: Why is Chuck all crazy in love with this new Elle girl? WHY? I know Blair was all, “Have your peonies back, Bass; it’s over.” But he loves Blair. Blair is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, not new skeezy high-class escort/nanny girl. I boo her and her thin lips.
Also: now that she’s gone missing, are we ramping up to an end of season murder investigation? Prime suspect: Chuck Bass?
As always, kids, I will post next week’s trailer after some dedicated GG fan uploads it to youtube. (thanks, keener!) Until then, some new, some oldGossip Girl cast—related items to keep us sated until the next episode:
- Ed Westwick’s Teen Vogue shoot
- Taylor Momsen’s Nike ad (I don’t think I ever posted this on me blog, just on Twitter?)
- Chace Crawford in Leona Lewis’s video for “I Will Be”
- Leighton Meester singing “Bette Davis Eyes,” whether or not this is actually her I like to think it is her. Mostly cause this song is genius;
- a kinda boring interview with Blake Lively post-Golden Globes;
- and an oldie but a punny one for Penn: his VoteForChange.org video with Shawn Pyfrom.