Welcome to new character Rachel Carr (Laura Breckenridge), a new teacher at Constance who doesn’t play by the — well, by Blair’s rules. I wonder if she and Dan are going to develop any romantic feelings for each other! I wonder as he makes her a cappuccino and ignores Serena’s call.
So it was Yale Day at Constance/St. Jude’s. Yale or Bust. For Blair, it was Bust then Yale then Bust. Dan got in; Serena got in but turned it — and Dan’s dreams of four years together at college — down; Nelly Yuki did not get in (but she did get a 2360 on her SATs, which is a really good score, right Americans?). Blair and Chuck shared almost no screen time this eve — oh man, remember that hilarious moment of B scurrying across the opera house lobby while Chuck sips champagne, oblivious — and I think that was a smart detour by the writers. Give us a time out from the constant Chuck/Blair ups and downs. But then bring them right back, okay?
I love Funny Dan and was so happy to see him for, like, half of this episode. He managed to get some brillo lines in, in what was a pretty effing funny episode. Some magical moments:
- Dorota, Harold Waldorf and Roman in their Yale outfits and Yale themed breakfast.
- “Death by Dorota”
- “Does Ms. Carr have Benjamin Button Syndrome?” (so timely!)
- Eric’s reminder to the PDA-heavy Rufus and Lily that his “bedroom is below yours”
- Blair comparing Dan’s excitement to get into Yale to a cafeteria lady who’s won the lottery.
- “Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena.” GOLD!
- “Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts.”
- Chuck’s plots to take down Jack Bass: buy anthrax with his credit card, put him on Megan’s List, use (two) transvestite hookers who owe Chuck a favor, put coke in his gym bag and “#26.”
- Eric’s overly excited opera lesson for Rufus.
- “Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project.”
- The double date of R, L, D, and S goes from “Family Ties to Faulkner” in one drink.
Also let’s talk about how Chuck’s opera hair looked super hot, while Nate’s opera hair looked sooooooooo bad. Crazy bad. Rufus shouldn’t worry about his picture in the Post, and Nate should just thank his lucky stars it wasn’t a photo of him.
But in all seriousity, the Chuck and Lily plot line was heartbreaking+warming. As cruel as Chuck was to her, I think he was right to suggest she could exercise a little more tact, and think of others — her children and Chuck — before, um, parading her mistress around. I am beyond happy and touched that C is now legally guarded by Lily, and that he’s moving back in to the suite. Sigh.
Jack Bass — considerably less hot in this episode. Yup. It’s like you take all the bad parts of Chuck Bass and let them fester in Australia for years and years, you end up with Jack. Remember when Chuck was the one attacking women, not recognizing something was wrong and helping? I’m sure the role reversal is not lost on Chuck, nor was the fact that the answer to his problem lay in trusting Lily, not in illegal and juvenile pranks. (That said: more juvenile pranks plz! Another Nairtini!)
The attack in the powder room was really scary — I don’t think it helps that Kelly Rutherford is visibly pregnant and that Desmond Harrington plays crazy-high-violent really well. I don’t like the fact that this is the third attack we’ve seen on Gossip Girl (Serena, Jenny, Lily, each one more violent than the previous) and no one’s ever reported it or pressed charges. It’s settled with a punch in the face or a kick in the balls. That’s a start but . . . cmon. Consequences.
Some questions as we move forward:
- What happened to Headmistress Queller? Was that the same actress but with bad hair?
- Why did the Yale secretary have such a weird accent? LOL party. I think it was the same actress who was choking and snorting next to V at the opera.
- Was this “where do we sit at the opera” plot the first indication of trouble afoot in N/V land?
- How did Serena’s boobs NOT fall out of that opera dress?
- Is Dan really going to have a love affair with the teacher? That’s so Pacey Witter circa 1998.
- Blair watches Gilmore Girls? Never thought that my dad and Blair Waldorf would have something in common.
- Did anyone understand what Dan was talking about when he said he wanted to put his dad and Serena’s mom in a box? That was eXtreme rambling.
Promo for 2.17 coming soon… (my youtube search came up with this. rick-rolling is old, people.)
**OH i forgot another bit of hilarity but the Waffles+Falafels post reminded me: refresh. refresh. refresh.