My Crush with Eyeliner

Good Morning, Internet. Where have I left my coffee? Found it. Today’s mug is A Room of One’s Own, which I bought in Oxford with Claz in April. That was a brilliant day. Look! I am in a boat and we are punting down the River Cherwell. And today it is wintery and there haven’t been any trips down any rivers for quite some time, and Clairey is in England and I am here.

But on the bright side: free makeup. Tammy blogged about her great lash experience, which reminded me I’ve been meaning to do the same. A marketing company sent me some mascara to try out — L’Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes. It’s fancy double-ended mascara where one side is white stuff and the other is the regular black stuff. I am a drugstore mascara wearer, usually Great Lash since once a magazine told me that is the best of the cheapies. (I believe everything that I read.)

But recently my Great Lash experience has been more like Spikey Stumpy Clumpy Lash, so I am a prime candidate for a revolution in mascara. And Double Extend is pretty good…. It’s novelty-time fun to put on the white and then the black, and I have enough time in the morning for the extra 2 seconds that takes. And it does make your eyelashes crazy long. Mainly because you’re putting a coat of crap on your eyelashes for the black to stick to. Like temporary false eyelashes.

Then it came time to wash that stuff off. I didn’t read the instructions, so when giant lash-like things came falling off my face, I thought my eyelashes were in the sink washing down the drain. Panic. But those were the fake-false-eyelashes. A little bit creepy.

The other thing, which is more my problem than the product’s prob, is that the next morning — if you happen to not wash off your makeup before bed and expect it to be wearable the next day, for brunch at least — my eyelashes look like I spent the night gluing giant spider’s legs to my eyes. So if you see me looking like a witch with spider eyes, know that is yesterday’s mascara. So yesterday. (Also I have a coupon for 5 bucks off the kinda pricey Double Tubes if you are interested! Holla at me: crissy calhoun gmail. You can figure my email out, I bet.)

The bonus round makeup story was in addition to the mascara, i got this 4-pack eyeshadow for a smokey eye look (which is my i-don’t-know-what-to-do-let’s-go-with-the-usual look) and a liquid eyeliner. I normally use eyeliner that smudges down my face after a half hour and this liquid stuff lasts like 48 hours! My eyeliner this morning: looks effing perfect. I am ready for my spider-legs and perfect liner close-up, thank you.

When I wake up in my makeup, it’s too early for that dress.

at work, i am proofreading Grunge Is Dead: The Oral History of Seattle Music (Greg Prato). you guys, this book is insanely good. I was probably 12 when my bro first got a nirvana cassette tape, and i guess if you had to label my early high school style it was grungey. but i have never been full-on into a music scene, so there’s so much i am learning about these bands i liked then (and still like, as i listen to those albums again), and bands i didn’t know at all: mother love bone, the melvins, tad. Grunge Is Dead is all interviews — the people who were there making the music or working at Sub Pop — and there’s this quote from a band guy (don’t remember who) talking about touring and having no money. So when he was hungry, he would chug a root beer and then jump up and down cause that would fill you up. classic. the book is also really tragic when you get to the stories about Andy Wood and Layne Staley, and you’re reading their best friends and brothers and girlfriends and mothers talk about losing them to drug overdoses. y’all are going to have to wait til April to read this book, but if there are any typos in it, it’ll be all my fault. when a book is this good, it’s hard to concentrate on the job at hand.

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2 thoughts on “My Crush with Eyeliner

  1. give me your eyelinar pls kthxbaiI’m dying for liquid eyeliner that stays. What are the deets? L’oreal? As for my lashes they are a lost cause because as my eyebrow lady puts it “it looks like I be clippin dem lashes girl!”(how many dialects did I go through here?)

  2. the liner is called: Carbon Black Lineur Intense Felt Tip Liquid Eyeliner by L’Oreal. that name is pretty intense. also: it makes a cool little shakey noise, like a can of spray paint.

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