A Christmisfit’s Guide to Holiday Movies

Yes Man
Exactly what you expect, but with fewer weird Jim Carrey faces. It’s pretty sweet, very predictable, and Zooey Deschanel gets to sing and be kooky and you fall in love with her. Well, I did. (Again.)

Doubt
Doubt is about doubt. I know this because of the opening scene, and the final scene, and many scenes in between, where that was made explicit. Bring a sweater to the movie theatre: nuns often sit outside on blustery days in this movie and it makes you feel very chilly for them. It’s not a bad movie, but there sure is a lot of acting and talking and more acting.

Seven Pounds
If you want to see Will Smith cry, this is the movie for you! If you are spending Christmas Eve by yourself and think, “Hey, I’ll just pop over to the Rainbow and catch a movie,” this is *maybe* not the movie for you. It is designed to make you cry. Also of note: nice images of a field and an ocean front home and a jellyfish. And sometimes Will Smith is handsome.

Valkyrie
A movie as good as its trailer. I saw the Valkyrie trailer and thought, “Holy fuck, awesome trailer. I will never see that movie, but well done, editor types.” Then it turned out to be my Christmas Day movie and guess what! It is a good movie. A great story and so tense. But if you’re like me, halfway through a Hitler-assassination-plot sequence, try not to think, “This movie should have been called Mission Impossible: 4.” It takes a minute to get back into the story after that funny.

I also plan on seeing the Curious Button movie over the break (and maybe even Gran Torino!) so stay tuned. But don’t stay tuned for me seeing Marley & Me. I refuse to see a movie starring a Golden Retriever and the two actors who most look like Golden Retrievers. Nope!

Hapslappy Boxing Day!

More! The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Notebook + Forrest Gump = Benjamin Button. I like tug boats and the Mississippi and in this movie, there is a tug boat on the Mississippi. Also it is undeniable that Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are beautiful people. It is also undeniable that this movie is LONG. It feels like the story is told in real time, so it’s about 80 years long. (Luckily the audiences both ages and reverse-ages with Brad and Cate, so you walk out of the theatre the same age you went in.)

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