my 90210pinions: Games People Play

No more games, boy,” said Donnie Wahlberg. That is the sentiment Annie and Naomi needed to embrace this week on 90210.

i love it when an episode starts exactly where the last left off. excellent! double bells: the return of Kelly Taylor!

Naomi is back to making the best faces! the “divorce” conversation faces are classic AnnaLynne McC. poor Annie can’t tell her the truth. wait—what? Naomi is lying about being sad and lonely? “I’ve got my own games to play…” Didn’t see that coming! Oh wait, yes i did. Two can play that game, Naomi.

I kind of wish Naomi had her own show. Like Veronica Mars but TERRIBLE and only half an hour long, so an episode would end before our brains exploded.

Looks like Navid is scared of doing it with Audrina. Virgin, perhaps?

Kelly SUCKS as a guidance counselor. As if you would say those things to a student! Accusing Kimberly like that is insanesauce. Boo on the return of Kelly. Does she not remember her high school years? She should buy the DVDs.

Apparently the ex-bf Jason has excellent lung capacity and was able to wait underwater in the pool for Annie to come home from school. He can also walk in slow motion AND yes, Lucille Bluth, you could crush mint on those abs. I think this show would be approved immensely if Lucille was in every scene, just hovering in the background, making awesomely crass comments.

Teacher Ryan looks way hotter in his I-am-depressed clothes than in his everyday teacher wear. Big news: Silver’s posts have crappy grammar!

Another moment I’m going to hold on to: our first double-door bathroom scene! This is episode 10 and we have not yet been in the classic Walsh bathroom! in the old Nine-Oh, we were in the bathroom between Brenda and Brandon’s rooms, like, 90% of the time.

Navid is a virgin! What a surprise. This is the main problem with new 90210: every single plotline is predictable. It’s like there’s a tired-trope machine at the CW and it spits out these episodes. The Gossip Girl team should give a master class in Writing Excellent Teen Drama for their CW pals.

WHAT! Annie has her name in neon lights at her birthday party! classy!
OMGWTFJessicaWalters! I’m glad this show exists for this very moment: Jessica Walters singing karoke. I knew there was a reason I watched this shit.

Oh a moment between Annie and Ethan. If Ethan gives her that octopus thing, I will 100% believe in that predictable-plot-generating machine. wait for it! yup, even Annie saw the “pentapus” coming. (ooherrr, that sounds dirty.)

Hurrah! Let me give 90210 credit where credit is due: nice ending. A good battle between Kansas and Queen Naomi followed by the arrival of their half-brother Sean. And in uniform!

D+. Just enough to keep me watching!


2 thoughts on “my 90210pinions: Games People Play

  1. ok, does no one on this show have a freaking locker combination? They go to their lockers, and open them like they are the kitchen cupboard. not so high security, esp with all those drugs and undercover cops floating around.

  2. God help me, I watched this episode and I totally agreed with you — lame except the very last two seconds which actually gripped me enough to keep going.I’m a sad, pathetic human being.

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