So what happened? Things are still amiss at the Humphrey loft. Jenny is off Agnesing, Dan is selling his soul for Yale, and Rufus is Judgey McJudgerson.
Blair chooses blood orange martinis for her 18th birthday party and Hazel really wants a boyfriend. Is that what I sound like when I say that? Lovely.
Agnes and Jenny have a meeting with Mr. Smith. A colossal meeting fail. I’m watching season two of The O.C. and that was nearly as bad as Seth, Zach and Summer’s meeting with the comic book people.
What I did LOVE about this episode: Derota! Derota had major moments in this episode. For example, as she sets the table for Cyrus’s imminent arrival:
B: Derota! Are you insane?
Derota: I don’t know.
Excellent casting, Gossip Girl. Wallace Shawn a.k.a. Vizzini from Princess Bride is perfect for the Cyrus Rose character: in one moment you can see exactly why Eleanor loves him and why B is disgusted by him.
In other parental trauma plotlines, it’s the 20th anniversary of Bass Industries. Chuck makes a “nice gesture but misguided as usual.” Bartholomew Bass doesn’t “have time for hockey games.” (Is that what it sounds like when I say I don’t have time for horses?) Grumble grumble, Bart Bass. What happened to the happy family eating cake from a few episodes back? I knew you were fake cake eating.
So apparently Dan Humphrey has both chops and has grown a pair! Lovely talk, Writerly Types. Senior Editor at New York magazine (a “quality publication”) says: “If your reporting is as good as your fiction…” to Dan. Ha! Dan’s fiction is reporting! He just changes up the names (sometimes) and chronicles his and his classmates’ adventures. Lonely Boy needs to start a new tradition for his story titles. Plz not the date every single time. It is old.
But I cannot wait until I can pause this episode and read his Charlie Troutt story! It will be so epically Dan, judging by the two sentences I could skim over Bart’s shoulder. and speaking of Dan and Bart… Top Betrayal of the Episode goes to Dan Humphrey. AS IF Dan disses his father and his life’s work in front of Bart Bass. For shame.
I’ve cooled on Aaron and the whole Aaron and Serena plot is not doing much for me. Plus it weirds me out to see Gossip Girl characters in Times Square? weird! but points for a grand romantic gesture to that perfectly appropriate song by the perfectly popular kings of leon. And without Serena and Aaron, Blair Waldorf would have had no extended Picasso analogy. Genius. Particularly the ending ’cause before you know it ... it’s some other girl’s eye coming out of her forehead.
The A+S+RandomModels plot was also inadvertantly responsible for the BEST MOMENT IN THE EPISODE: B squishing onto the couch next to Serena, pushing Isabel and Penelope out of the way. And then giving Nelly Yuki the Blair Death Stare when she pipes in.
Plotline that Got Draggy Fast has to be Jenny and Her Fashion Adventures with Crazytown Agnes. That coffee shop scene was un petit peu boring. all i cared about was: have i tried that flavor of vitamin water? (yes.) Then in the big climax when Agnes lights Jenny’s dresses on fire, why why why doesn’t Jenny stop her? With her arms! her hands! Not just by shreiking, “Don’t don’t! Give me my dresses! What are you doing?” She could have just taken the dresses out of the garbage can. Or hit Agnes or something. We haven’t had a rumble in a few episodes, have we? Not since B and S.
ALL CHUCK DOES IN THIS EPISODE IS LURK. Chuck Bass the Super Spy! Calling Gillian the Intern at NYMag. Peering and eavesdropping from behind pillars. I love how Bart and Chuck both have a signature snarl face. The Bass Snarl. Dan is a brave boy to withstand a two-pronged Bass attack.
And why doesn’t Chuck go to B’s party? Remember last season’s bday party for B? illicit encounters and extravagant jewels.
Blair versus Cyrus Rose: I kinda dug that plot. Probably because she always has excellent outfits and dialogue. Blair listens to Cyrus’s true love story in a gorgeous outfit. I probably need that? I totally fell for the set-up and pay off with Cyrus outmaneouvring Blair. And how!
Cyndi Lauper! Somehow I missed her name in the opening credits and didn’t realize we were *actually* going to see her. So my reaction was pretty much identical to Blair Waldorf’s. Cyndi Lauper! And Derota loves Cyndi. The Cyndi song at the beginning of B’s party, “Echo,” is kinda super awesome. thank you Gossip Girl, for reintroducing me to her glory.
I didn’t catch (the first time) that Jenny crashes at the gallery and not on some random blue couch. That makes sense. I just hope Vanessa doesn’t find her there!
The most Touchingly Implausible Scene was definitely Bart and Chuck having their first honest talk ever. The Bass boys will go to a hockey game. It’s more unlikely than the cake-eating, but so sweet that it brings a tear to my eye.
What are we left with…?
- Will Little J divorce her parents right when Rufus is about to cave?
- Will B go bananas with Cyrus living at the Waldorfs?
- Is Serena really as conventional as Blair and will she tire of tripping through Central Park in a slip with Aaron?
- Will the Rangers win the hockey game?
Next week it’s Thanksgiving on the Upper East Side and it looks like our young Archibald is threatening to leave for good. (I’ll post the promo when I can find it online.)
Don’t leave, Nate. I was just starting to like you.