never, never, never give up: day 45

hi dear blog readers,

it is not the morning, but I’m sneaking in a blog anyway to make up for my absenteeism. Eating that lentil soup I mentioned the other day, and going to meet Other Troy for a drink in a little bit. My habits game is still weak to the max — haven’t done any of the things in the longest of time. But as JK, my Upholder Sage, kindly reminded me today: habits are hard, and don’t give up. Thus the blog post title — Never never never give up, aka a saying JK and I like to attribute to a preternaturally talented woman (Taylor, obvs), though a boring old dead guy technically said it first (Winston C.).

I was thinking the other day that my problem may be that I slipped into Moderator mode post-November, instead of sticking with Abstainer mode which is clearly what works for me. I was making one exception, then another and another, and then all of a sudden I’m eating gross pizza and marathoning telly. (Totally caught up on Empire, tho, and I was missing Cookie.) So, I think that would be a good re-starter strategy: go back to abstaining. Can I realistically do that in December with a week away at my mom’s and holiday feasts and a friend staying with us for the rest of the hols? Probs not. I think my Back At It time will be Monday, January 4th, and between now and then, I’m going to half ass it.

Then whole ass it, per Ron Swanson.


worse than before?: day 42

dramatic reenactment of JK, LP, and me baking last year

it’s City of Craft day! today marks year 2 of an excellent holiday tradition. and by “holiday,” I do not mean Christmas. I mean Swiftmas. Tomorrow is Taylor’s birthday.

Last year JK, LP (who is indifferent to Taylor but loves a group hang), and I celebrated TS’s birthday because the 1989 album release day — which we thought would be a fun day of listening to new tunes — was dark and gross because of that fucker Ghomeshi.

So, we created a do-over day: Tay’s bday was spent going to City of Craft, then baking cat-shaped cookies and having gal pal GTs whilst subjecting Laura to Taylor on repeat. (Also we ate really good soup, which has since become a staple in my kitchen. Happy one year anniversary, lentil soup from the Stop cookbook!) This year we celebrate one day early, and we’re going to LP’s house and we’re gonna eat pesto! made by her parents! So excited. (I have been known to exclaim, Pesto is the besto, because, well, it is.) Then bakers gonna bake, bake, bake, bake, bake.

ANYWAY. Fun times start soon for me. And let’s not talk about habits, or No-evering, or any of that junk, because I have nothing good to report.

I may have eaten a ton of pizza while watching a ton of TV last night. (Why haven’t Alicia and Jason smooched yet? What the heck, Good Wife writers. What the actual heck.)

Still on pause with BtB-ing. Still haven’t figured out how to kickstart this shit again. Looking forward to a dance party tonight at JK’s, so I can say I exercised once this week. Also looking forward to it because dance party at JK’s.

love, love, love,

same as before: day 41

I continue to be on hold. Very much on hold. All I’m doing is walking, and mostly not eating things I’ve decided not to eat. My morning routine is non-existent: I sleep in and then I doddle and then I get ready for work. No yoga, no writing block, fifty percent of the time no blog! What the heck, you guys. Is this a December thing, or a Day 30-something lack of zestful commitment? Or what. I am definitely not considering decisions final, and I didn’t send out my accountability report to the Squad on Sunday — so I am not using the best-suited-to-me of Gretchen’s strategies.

Haven’t formulated a plot to deal with my habitlessness just yet. Stay tuned.

Also LP, brace yourself: I am bringing in some Erin Smith chocolate/peanuty treat thingies, she called them downmarket truffles.


better than before: day 39

Morning pals. I would like to go back to sleep. Plz and thx.

I almost did the things I was supposed to yesterday: No three o’clock walk, but that is the blame of my bosses. I did not eat the toblerone that my pal brought over and I did eat lotsa fruit and veg. So. There is at least that.

Nothing really to report this morning, I guess! Better than Before-ing still feels on pause. Resuming later today. My ma goes back to the Sound, and I will go back to the exercising tonight. I wonder if I even remember how. Seems unlikely, as it has been forever and a day.

Please enjoy this gif of Bey and Nicki, in lieu of actual blogging.


better than before: day 38

Day 37? Lost to the bloglessness of yesterday. Who knows what happened. That total mystery aside, I continue to be on an unofficial break from basically doing anything I’ve been trying to do every g’d day. I would guess that Gretchen (who I was about to call “Ingrid” — need more than one sip of coffee before typing) would say I am finding loopholes, and I would say, Ingrid, you are right. I am an expert at finding loopholes.

And the funny (not funny) thing was people were saying nice things to me of late — like I look…better than before (had to). An overall sparkiness or something, and that is of course encouraging, and I certainly felt that, and now I am down to almost getting my steps in and not much else. The No-Ever rule may need to be officially re-inaugurated at some point, because it began in a week of exceptions and that has made it hard for me to quit making more exceptions. (Listen, my roommate makes very tasty chocolate chip cookies.)

So, short term goals: Get through today without eating junk. Try to hit all my fruit and veg per the dietician (it is a lot of fruit + veg!). Hit my step count & go for my three o’clock walk.

{I’m not adding evening exercise on there, because I know I won’t do it. My ma is in town, and we will probably do more colouring or British TV watching or somesuch. So Wednesday eve = exercise party times.}

Anywho. Onwards. xo.

better than before: day 36

26The whole question of Should I bring leftie junk food to work on Monday? is a slightly less significant one as of this morning, because last night I ATE SO MANY VERBOTEN JUNK SNACKS. Apparently, a cupboard door is not enough to keep me out. Me and my roomie were watching Jessica Jones — her secondary activity was pickling carrots, mine was jamming Cheetos into my face.

So that’s definitive evidence that keeping junk out of my house completely is the only way for me not to eat it.

My yoga and exercise count is still abysmal for the week, and I didn’t make up for it yesterday. My excuse is that we have no hot water, and I really don’t want to have to shower in freezing cold water anymore than is absolutely necessary because it is the worst. I am currently boiling water, so I can do some dishes. Yesterday I washed my hair in the sink. It’s basically pioneer times at my house. (Besides, you know, the Netflix marathon of Jessica Jones, which BTW is v. enjoyable and I am glad to see Lemond Bishop making good outside of Chicago.)

IMG_1588I did, however, go on a very long and lovely walkabout to meet up with my besties and four of their kidlets (one baby stayed home) and we went to the Junction Flea, where the kids were on a mission to find candy canes. It was pretty determined. Here they are, after acquiring the sugar, posing casually with a sleigh (right before knocking it over) (then Ava started ‘brushing her teeth’ with the candy cane). Probably it’s their fault I was so junk-food crazy by evening time. Definitely not my own fault. (Just kidding, yes it is.)

Really need to get back on the habit sleigh.

better than before: days 33-35

Demerit for missing two days of blogging! I have been busy eating pizza, sorry.

This was a week of Planned Exceptions and Routine Adjustment, and I was doing OK on it until hangover-time yesterday. (Work hols party was on Thursday night.) My yoga & exercising has been low, as planned due to cat care, but also my diet this week has been lacking in the fruit + veg, and has been very high on the pizza.

Title: HONEY 2
I just happened to be wearing my red&black plaid shirt whilst watching Honey 2 & totally fit in with the crew in this critical scene.

Last night I had two pals over to watch Honey and Honey 2: Dipped in Culture* — the sequel is better than the original times 1,000,000 — and they very hilariously brought honey balls and honey dijon chips as snacks. As it turns out, I still like chips and Skittles and ginger ale. A pre-Planned Exception for my No-ever life, but now I have the leftover treats and am not sure who to unload them on. Maybe I bring them to work on Monday and the people who are not No-ever-ers will appreciate it? I dunno. I don’t want to be the jerk who brings junk food, since I was taking that as an act of micro-aggression in the height of No-vember. (LP and JK: tell me if I should bring in Skittles and chips on Monday.)

Time for me to map out my weekend — I got work to do + the usual boring things + friend hangs + exercise parties to have — and get back on the habit part of this habit train. Looking forward to reactivating my 3 o’clock walks at work, but my morning routine will be modified Tues & Wed with my mom here. Reminding myself that what I do most days matters more than once in a while (aka one of GR’s secrets of adulthood).

Oh, remember when I emailed Gretchen? Well, I got back a form email response and I should have expected it but I am disappointed nevertheless. I skimmed her habits group guide and it seems more directed to meeting in person groups, but I’ll take a closer look and see if there’s anything in there for the Accountability Squad and/or this here bloggeroo.

Okay, planning time! xo

*this is not the actual title of the film, though it should be. One character refers to their dance routine as being “dipped in culture” and we died of laughter.